Friday, July 20, 2012

Continuing Education...Mama style.

I've always been a learner.  Not to say that other folks aren't, but in my case, I always found that being a student of ___ (fill in the blank with whatever you desire) was much more natural to me than teaching.  Can I say that the past year has taught me more than the lifetime before it?  It's certainly true. Feel free to laugh (or sympathize) at these observations and lessons from the school of motherhood, and I'll go ahead and apologize if some seems like TMI...

Things learned while surviving newborn-hood...

  • Take every premonition and expectation you dreamed up while reading those well-meaning pregnancy books, listening to advice, and planning the way you thought it should be, and THROW THEM OUT.  Go with your gut.  Roll with the punches.
  • There are books, articles, and lectures on how to raise your child.  Take them with a grain of salt, and know that whatever choice you make, if you feel good about it, is the right thing.
  • Everyone says "You'll never sleep again..."  Not true!  You'll fall asleep sitting straight up, in the middle of conversations, you name it.  Sleep isn't the same, true, but it happens.
  • And on the subject of sleep, dad will sleep through those nighttime cries.  Don't get mad at him.
  • Breast feeding is a wonderful bonding experience, but not in the first few weeks.  It hurts, it's frustrating, and the baby wonders what's wrong with you...but if you stick with it, the benefits outweigh the hardships.
  • If you have a c-section, don't expect to be able to walk upright for the first couple of days.
  • The phrase, "This, too, shall pass" comes up wayyyyyy more than you expected.
  • Growth spurts are the devil.
  • Plugged ducts are the devil.
  • Gas pains are the devil.
  • Poo stains are the devil.
  • Always take a spare change of clothes when you're out.  Hiroshima-sized blow outs happen.
  • Extra crib sheets are a must, too...
  • Swings, play mats, and nap nannies were invented by GENIUSES.  Get them.
  • Take pictures.  Babies change hourly (seemingly).
  • Keep a baby book or journal!  You will forget the day to day things that were so amazing.
  • Just because you ended up 5 pounds from your pre-pregnancy weight doesn't mean your new found big booty will fit into those pre-pregnancy jeans.  
  • And also in regards to the above statement--NOTHING about your body is the same.  Other folks may not notice, but you totally will. Totally.
  • You will wonder, "How can something so small poop so much?"
  • The first few weeks of baby's life will be consumed with poo concerns.  Never have you ever paid so much attention to poo...amount, timing, consistency, color, etc.
  • Even if you never had a silly bone in your body, you will find yourself doing anything to get a glimpse of that toothless smile.
  • You will fall madly in love with your husband again watching him hold and talk to the baby.
  • You will develop a sense of pride in your family when they hold the baby.
  • That outfit you splurged on that he'll grow out of in a week?  Yeah, he just pooped on it.
  • Shaving your legs is a luxury.
  • If you have a boy, point it down when you change his diaper.  Don't know why?  You'll find out.
  • If you have a boy, cover it up when you change his diaper.  Don't know why?  You'll find out.
  • When people ask you if you need anything, without hesitation respond with, "DIAPERS."
  • You will accidentally baby talk to other people.
  • That whole mom thing with licking a finger to clean a face starts early.
  • No matter what Stacy and Clinton say, sweat pants and t-shirts are perfectly acceptable postpartum.
  • Baby blues are almost unavoidable.  Find someone you can talk to.
  • You will mourn your pregnancy as if it was a close relative that died.
  • That pregnancy brain that made you forgetful and loopy?  It won't go away easily...if ever.
  • That advice about napping when the baby naps...take it.
  • Learn how to operate the buckles on the carseat before you try to take the baby home from the hospital and spare yourself the embarrassment.  (no, not us, right??)
  • Random things will make you cry:  Johnson and Johnson commercials, not having time to clip your toenails, one of your wedding photos, someone took the last kleenex, etc...
  • Even though there was some serious pain, stress, and worry, you will want to have another baby.  Amazingly.

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